VERDICT
The court jester will see you now
0%
a case has been opened against you

You are hereby
on trial

Upload your CV, dating profile, or LinkedIn. The court jester delivers a verdict — sharp, funny, and with real advice on how to fix it.

"Your CV says 'detail-oriented' twice. In the same bullet point. The court has noticed."

Verdict: guilty of unironic self-description

"Six photos, five sunglasses, one dog. The court awards custody of this profile to the dog."

Verdict: guilty of insufficient evidence of a face

"'Thought leader' appears in a bio with 41 followers. The thoughts are not leading anywhere."

Verdict: guilty of buzzword inflation
case file · exhibit A
Click to upload or drag a file here
PDF · Word (.docx) · PNG / JPG
The jester is reviewing the evidence
◆ the verdict is

Sentencing



    ◆ the court recommends
      The court's fixes are sealed
      Order in the court
      Guilty
      No appeals
      Order in the court
      Guilty
      No appeals
      1
      Exhibit I

      File the case

      Upload your evidence — a screenshot of your CV, dating profile, or LinkedIn. Pick a category and the jester takes it from there.

      Exhibit II

      Examine the evidence

      Every detail goes on record — from your wording to your profile picture. Nothing escapes a jester with nothing to lose.

      Exhibit III

      Deliver the verdict

      You get the verdict, the complaints, and — if you unlock it — actual advice on how to fix what you've done.

      From the court archive

      Real cases, published with the defendant's consent.

      case file · CV

      "3 years of 'seeking new challenges,' and the biggest challenge was uploading a PDF without the text overflowing the margins."

      Guilty of an oversized objective statement
      case file · Dating profile

      "Every photo is in sunglasses. The court suspects you exist only in theory."

      Guilty of insufficient evidence of a face
      case file · LinkedIn

      "'Passionate about synergy' — written under the job you quit after 4 months. The court notes the irony."

      Guilty of corporate buzzword inflation

      Court fees

      The first verdict is free. The full truth costs.

      Public defender
      €0 / case
      The verdict, the sentence, and the complaints. Enough to sting.
      • 1 free verdict per day
      • Verdict, sentencing + complaints
      • The court's fixes stay sealed
      ◆ notice of appeal

      The attorney isn't in yet.

      Paid defense — the full fixes for every verdict — is coming. Leave your email and you'll be first through the doors, at the founder's rate.

      You're on the docket. The court will summon you.